// Words

Temporary Thrill

I medicate to hide away
To find a way to deal with me
I ease my pain imagining
That everything is anything to me

No matter what I’ve built for my own
What I want what I need is better
And no matter what I’ve given to you
This feeling, this feeling will be forever

For a moment
This temporary thrill
I can be anything
On this temporary thrill
I know it’s killing me
This temporary thrill
But you must understand
That this thrill helps me
To be

I’ve really tried once or twice
To gain my freedom
And I’ve heard you begging me
And I promise you that I’ve been listening

But you don’t understand
All the pieces of me
Barely clinging together
And you don’t understand
That having me like this
Is better than nothing at all

—

Moment of Truth

If reality was just what you perceived
More like what you prefer it to be
Would you accept me
Or even claim me

This is the moment of truth
This is the moment of truth

If you were to trade places with me
And battle the scars deep inside of me
Would you see things differently
Or even let me be

This is the moment of truth
This is the moment of truth

If you were to place all the blame on me
For the wayward paths taken by your seed
Would that be my responsibility
Or if I gave it back would you receive

This is the moment of truth
This is the moment of truth

Is the rafter so large that you just can’t see
That there’s better places to spend your energy
Whatever happened to mercy
Am I not worthy

This is the moment of truth
This is the moment of truth

What you think about it
Do you dream about it
Is your scheming, lying, my sacrificing validating it

What I feel about it
I can do without it
When it’s all said and done I will become so much more than this

—

How Does it Feel (Blood Money)

He was eighteen just tasting life
Sacrificing
For the exotic rhetoric
And glory

But he died with his guts in his hands
Just begging
Not knowing that his blood
Would bring them money

How does it feel
To purchase their pain
How does it feel
To brandish their blood
How does it feel
To be killing your brother

Keeping your image iced
Is at the cost of his life
This is the village raid
The darkness, the 120 days

Is this what they fought for
Is this what they dies for
Keep on spending that blood money
Blood money

—

Forgotten Ones

—

Carry On

Sunday morning breakfast, lazy afternoon
Watching you sleep
Your peace giving me mine

In all my memories
Your joy is everlasting
And happiness is what you’ll always have
Without me

Since I left you all behind
I’ve forsaken my shelter
Responsibility is a shadow behind me

In all my memories
Your laughter brings the sun
And the innocence of our carefree times
With my beautiful ones

And though you don’t understand it
Can you carry on
Can you carry on
Just know I tried to be a good man
Can you carry on
Can you carry on

I’m at peace with what I’ve done
Begging for forgiveness
Praying for you
That it’ll make you stronger

In all my dreams
Your joy is everlasting
In happiness as I fade away
I see you carry on

—

Make You Beautiful

Though I’m a common man
I can feel in your hands
Little things that lift my wings
And make me better

I know you’ve been hurt and scorned
Been through too many wars
You need a soul to make you whole
That’s what I’m here for

And if you only knew
How I see you
With all that you’ve been through
I’m going to make you beautiful

It’s more than just the physical
Though you are a sight to behold
You’re even more if you look below
Your pretty surface

Your trust hasn’t been taken lightly
I treasure your integrity
I respect you and all you do
You’ve brought me dignity

And oh, it doesn’t matter about the preconceived
The restraints of society
They can’t tell you what to be they
Can’t define
Just look on the inside

—

Flower Child

Seeking wisdom
Insight deeper than my age
Old man talking
But not about the things he’s seen
Young girl crying
Wants someone to feed her pain
Through it all you’ve been there
As the center of my being
My gravity
You’re a part of me

With you here my flower child
I’m shining
And we’re rising
Cuz you’ve shown me flower child
What love is
When it touches your soul

Loving easy
Dissipating all my rage
Making easy
Investing in eternity
There is no place I’d rather be

And though the world may chatter
May try to pull us away
We’ve created all our future
In our present babe
Let’s live it out today

—

Melt Away

If you never meant to finish it
Then why even start it
If you never meant to finish it
Then why invest the heart

No respect is what I’m giving
Cuz your manhood is gone
Too old to face the truth
But too young to know it, too

You should’ve just been a man about it
Why you want to melt away

I’m not saying it’s okay
I won’t be the one to leave the wifey
I won’t follow the storyline laid
Wouldn’t let the weak get the best of me

And I know I’m only on the outside
Four walls know more than I
And drama has a way of building
And drama has a way of breaking

—

Let Me Go

It’s true that all things return
To what we’ve been through before
And I suppose that I won’t be the last
To feel like it’s been told

Still there’s no denying that there’s more of you in I
That I don’t wish to claim
So I put up the fight to believe my own lies
That color reality

Looking in the mirror of my soul, of my soul
Seeing you in everything – let me go, let me go

We never had the chance to be
You never got to see what I would grow to be
You never had the chance to show me
What I was supposed to be

Still you linger and haunt and stain
Every breath I take
And your darkness resides deep inside where it ought not
Threatening to break

Won’t you let me be
Won’t you let me go

—

Run

Eddie had the cold steel
He was gonna pull, gonna pull the trigger
He bore the brunt of my rage
I didn’t mean, didn’t mean to do it

My sanctuary is flight
But my asylum is fleeting
I won’t go back, won’t return alive
Nothing left for me to do but run

Thought about calling mama
Even thought about calling the preacher
Would you understand my innocence
Cuz no one told him to set me off like that

I can’t stand to see the eyes of a killer in the mirror
I can’t bear the pounding of my guilt my shame my regret and anger
Eddie had the cold steel
He was gonna pull, gonna pull the trigger

I just wanted the better life
Isn’t that what we prayed for
I just wanted a better life
i can’t go back, so I need you to carry on

from the storm to the sun

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// Words